Tuesday, 17 November 2009

DAVOS or be damned!

The Master Plan for Jersey includes the aim of “developing the Island’s international personality” – or as a 1950’s B movie pimp might have said to his whore “get out on those streets and sell yourself.”

Of course, many of our leaders were weaned on 1950’s B movies so the aspiration to prostitute the island’s charms around the world’s money spots is as natural as breast-feeding.

Davos, the largest ski resort in Switzerland is just such a place for those willing to sell their souls and bodies. The world’s jet setters and camp followers arrive here every year by the hundreds of thousands for the Alpine delights and off piste pleasures and the Royal sightings at nearby and super expensive Klosters have been an annual treat for the brainless.

It would be difficult to imagine a more suitably decadent location for the Annual Conference of the World Economic Forum and so it is that every year the world’s most affected and delusionary “leaders” gather here to “improve the state of the world.”

But you may well ask – why has Jersey never had an official presence here? What a wasted opportunity to trawl the hotel corridors with our goodies on display and why don’t we address the conference itself and reveal to the entire world what we have hidden under our rather dull exterior!

Now that we are selling ourselves in Paris, Hong Kong and Mumbai we should be foolish not to consider an official presence at Davos where we might bump into the really big boys of the international scene.

The World Economic Forum (WEF) organises such gatherings on a regular basis all round the world. It is of course big business but all done “on a non-profit making basis” and it claims to be an independent organisation “committed to improving the state of the world by engaging leaders in partnership to shape global, regional and industry agendas – and “is tied to no political, partisan or national interests.”

This year they are currently now in India and there is a Summit in Dubai next week.
The next Davos Conference is January 2010 and then its, Tanzania, Colombia, Vietnam and Morocco. We wonder how the world could have managed without Jersey’s previous participation?

For those countries and businesses that take part – it can be a whole way of life for regular participants and now that so much of the world-wide finance and banking business has been exposed as wholly undesirable – our “international personality” must be looking a bit jaded.

But who could we send out as our official “international” person with a suitable personality to promote our seductive charms? Could Chief Minister Terry Le Sueur really be the man for such a job?

On the other hand, it is noted that Jersey’s 4 man Bobsleigh team is seeking a brakeman and the versatile CM, not to say dead weight, would be ideal for this task too – especially since he is rumoured to be available from January 2010.

But of course, Jersey people are spoilt for choice. We have the man in the funny hat, who must be bored out of his brains for most of his time. And now we have the recently retired Bailiff too and he is fully committed to Jersey’s international role and the ability to “punch above our weight”.

We are blessed too with such a wealth of resident talent from arms salesmen, ex mercenaries, property speculators and bankers that we really are confused - although it is a great shame that Max Wall has left us.

The man who couldn’t retire – Colin “Kissinger” Powell – would no doubt be a popular choice as Jersey’s official Foreign Secretary and International Fixer but we have decided to throw it open to a competition.

Who do you think that we should send to Davos in January 2010?

Don’t forget, that we have 53 wonderfully qualified elected States Members to choose from too.

Competition Rules

Please Note ; Only 1 vote per participant is permitted.
and no entries can be accepted from relatives of Team Voice or from Senator Philip Ozouf or members of his fan club.

Submitted by Thomas Wellard.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Well - in the absence of any votes, one can only assume that nobody thinks anybody is capable of representing Jersey in Davos!!

Therefore, as the only participant, may I claim the prize please, unless of course it is a day in the States, in which case I will decline.